The Brew Guru tastes Budweiser American Ale, or, This must be what they wanted but I can't imagine why

When it comes to up-front declarations of beer snobbery, it doesn’t get any less subtle than a non-twist-off cap. The beer you deign to drink declares, before it has even graced your palate, that you require help consuming it. “Find an implement, caveman. Evolve or remain parched.”
It’s a pomposity that can be tolerated for a beers above a certain threshold – for The Brew Guru, it’s about $6 a six-pack, maybe $7. Anything below that – except brews way below, i.e. returnable bottles – reeks of false airs.

Today’s featured beer puts on a lot of airs: atop, outside and inside the bottle.

This week’s brew: Budweiser American Ale

Style: The Budmasters claim they’ve created an entirely new style, but if it looks like an amber ale, swims like an amber ale and quacks like an amber ale...

Brewed by: Anheuser-Busch Inc., St. Louis.

Availability: It’s a Bud. If the answer here isn’t “everywhere,” someone isn’t doing his job.

What it’s like: Samuel Adams Boston Lager if it were brewed by Bud.

Inside the glass: This foray into a microbrew style by America’s biggest macrobrewer is a significant departure from its Bud labelmates. It’s all malt, meaning it lacks adjuncts like corn or rice, and it boasts Cascade hops – the backbone of many great American pale ales. And it toes the line, appearance-wise: a lovely rusty, caramel-malt amber and a creamy head. But get closer to the glass and it falls flat. A thin aroma foreshadows a similarly thin flavor. There’s a fleeting ale bitterness, but it’s gone before anything really registers because it’s riding on a flimsy grain chassis. The macrobrewers clearly believe the benefit of watering down the malt body is drinkability, in terms of “less filling.” Never mind whether anyone will actually want to drink more.

Backwash: The Brew Guru doesn’t believe that the beer minds at Anheuser-Busch couldn’t make this beer what it purports to be. They could craft and mass-produce a beer to please microbrew fans, but at some point a compromise was made. It may have been to keep costs down. Or perhaps because they don’t really want the microbrew drinker, but instead the macro drinker who aspires to micros. If the latter is the case, it’s a misguided decision – for that consumer, American Ale is just a gateway beer to similar but better choices like Sam Adams or Goose Island Honker’s Ale. Either way, American Ale won’t fool any real microbrew fans.

1 mug (out of four)

The Brew Guru tastes Left Hand Milk Stout, or, Sweet, dark surrender

Among the avalanche of information on the new prez to reach The Brew Guru last week was the tidbit that Barack Obama is a lefty. There he was, hunched over that little table, signing – and probably smudging – executive orders. That was news to the Guru because he, of course, is a boring old right-hander. Any proud lefty probably knew of his kinship with months ago. Southpaws, which comprise about 13 percent of the population, have a disproportionately prodigious record when it comes to inventions, art, leadership and other accomplishments. They also, apparently, adjust more quickly to seeing underwater. Very helpful.

This week’s brew: Left Hand Milk Stout

Style: Stout

Brewed by: Left Hand Brewing in Longmont, Colo., about a half-hour northwest of Boulder and about an hour north of Denver.

Availability: For this brew, as with most beers brewed outside the Central time zone, rely on bigger liquor stores or those that cater to craft tastes.

In the glass: No, it doesn’t taste like milk. It tastes like beer – specifically, a really, really good stout. Left Hand says the lactose (milk sugar) is added to balance the malt’s roastiness, which is present in spades, but it also gives the aroma a chocolatey sweetness that doesn’t necessarily gibe with the flavor. The chocolate malts (so named for their color, not necessarily their flavor) and other darker grains make Milk Stout as dark as a Northwoods night.

Backwash: The Brew Guru doesn’t put much stock in awards – if Miller Lite can boast of a World Beer Cup gold medal, what’s it worth? – but Left Hand has brought home a well-deserved gold for Milk Stout at two WBCs in a row. (It competed in the sweet stout category.) It’s a worthy addition to whatever hand you choose to hold it in.

3½ mugs (out of four)

The Brew Guru Tastes Leinie's Fireside Nut Brown, or, Brownie with natural flavor

The Brew Guru isn’t really into beer-food pairings. As long as there’s beer, he’s happy; the food is just gravy. But the general lack of tradition of beer being an integral part of the Thanksgiving meal is mystifying. It’s a feast, right? A celebration of bounty, of plenty, of abundance? So how can you have that without a great beer? Not just the really good beer you have in your fridge 300 days of the year, but a great beer for special occasions – a once-a-year beer. So this year, join The Brew Guru in declaring beer – preferably a fall/winter brew and preferably brewed in Wisconsin – as essential to Thanksgiving as turkey.

This week’s brew: Fireside Nut Brown

Style: Brown ale

Brewed by: Leinenkugel Brewing Co., Chippewa Falls.

Availability: This Leinie has taken over the winter seasonal slot that opened when Creamy Dark moved to year-round production. Officially, it’s only offered in November and December.

Taste: The first sip of Fireside ignited an instant deja vu back to winter 2006 and Miller’s limited-release chocolate lager. That beer was spiked with actual chocolate; here the effect presumably comes from the two-row malt. Caramel, hazelnut and maple notes combine with the chocolate to make this a brownie of a beer, but it’s a complexity that’s somewhat suspicious. As with other new Leinie’s brews the last few years, Fireside bears “Beer with natural flavor” on the label. This is uncommon on beer labels, so either Leinie’s is cheating at brewing or is overly honest. Either way, serve Fireside above typical fridge temperature to let that cornucopia of flavor breathe.

Backwash: The nut brown is probably a bummer of a style to brew: It’s easy to mess up, and even when you nail it, it’s ... still just a nut brown, unobjectionable and interesting but never transcendent the way a great weizen, stout or pale can be. That said, you can hoist worse beers over your gravy-covered plate this Thanksgiving.

2 mugs (out of four)

The Brew Guru tastes Buffalo Water Bison Blonde, or, Ode to an app

It’s 10:30. You’ve been at the bar for about two hours, and the ballgame or darts or whatever is great. You’re staying. Maybe for a while. But that stupid salad you had at 6 seems really far away. You’re hungry, and you’re heading for the promised land, the place where the possibilities are so many and so good that they must be bundled in sampler baskets. The appetizer menu – all the bounties of the modern food service industry, all deep fried.
But wait, prospector! Not all is as it seems. Is a cheese curd really better battered and fried? OK, yes, it is, but is it really a cheese curd in the first place, or a rubbery cube of cheap cheddar? That salsa, a perfect garnish for the stale chips, will let you down as sure as the Milwaukee Brewers. Mini tacos are not as good as big ones.
No, it’s time to go to the app menu’s No. 1 draft choice: the Buffalo wing. It’s not without its risks – a bad wing is cold, greasy and bland, masked in flavorless burn. But a good one is a harmonic nexus of tangy, savory and heat that can make a good night transcendent. It’s a delicate alchemy, which makes it cosmically correct that so many wings are washed down with beer – when done well, an exercise in balance in its own right.

This week’s brew: Bison Blonde.

Style: Blonde lager.

Brewed by: Buffalo Water Beer Co., found at the corner of Buffalo and Water streets, Milwaukee.

Availability: The Brew Guru got his in bottles at Woodman's. It's on tap at the source and at other Milwaukee establishments.

Taste: This is a blonde its crafters say was inspired by and is best washing down a spicy chicken wing, so imagine the kind of beer you’d most like paired with a Buffalo wing. Light body? Check. Mild hop? Check. Light carbonation? Check. Buffalo Water founder Craig Peterson refers to “poundability,” in all capital letters, in the packaging and Web notes for Bison Blonde, and that’s definitely what he’s got. The flavor hits the mark but comes across as secondary to its other characteristics.

Backwash: The Brew Guru must admit he snickered at the first glimpse of this six-pack. If you’re not familiar with the brewery’s geographic origins, “Buffalo Water Bison Blonde” might evoke a Rust Belt city’s tap water or a bladderful from a big, sweaty animal – neither of which seems like a good idea in a pint glass. But after some due diligence and a few Buffalo wings, this beer delivers – crisp, tasty and, yes, poundable. Hot wings optional.

3½ mugs (out of four)

The Brew Guru tastes Leinie's Summer Shandy, or, Half beer but not half bad

Imagine you are a German innkeeper in the 1920s, the early days of the Weimar Republic. It’s a weekend, and business is steady. Then, around the bend come thousands of touring cyclists, thirsty and and in need of refreshment. Without anywhere near the beer to serve all of them, what’s a body to do? Improvise! Dilute the beer with lemonade, say you created a refreshing new drink just for the occasion, name it after the guests (a radler, German for “cyclist”) and rake in the cash. It’s the legendary – and informative – origin of a cousin of this week’s brew, new from our friends on the other end of Highway 29.

This week’s brew: Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy

Style: Shandy, a mixture of wheat-based lager and lemonade, although the packaging here is clear that the mixture is “lemonade flavor.”

Brewed by: Jacob Leinenkugel Brewing Co.

Availability: One of four prominently placed seasonals from Leinie’s, the brewery says you’ll find it anywhere Leinie’s is sold. Sales began April 1.

In the glass: By definition, this is a compromised beer. The question, before a taste (or even a sniff), is how much it is diluted. Some ABV math tells us that Summer Shandy is about 85 percent beer (It’s 4.2 percent alcohol by volume, which is 85 percent of the 4.9 percent of Leinie’s other wheat beers.) The senses, however, tell The Brew Guru the beer ratio it could be even lower. The body is paper-thin, the aroma benign and the taste ... what taste? There’s virtually no malt to speak of, and even the lemonade (flavor) lacks the tartness or sweetness that could punch up the brew. It’s a surprising turn from the brewery that last year brought us the breakfast-cereal-style fruit freight train of Sunset Wheat.

Backwash: So Summer Shandy doen’t taste, smell or feel like much, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. This style is what it is, and it’s not made to please beer purists. It’s made for cyclists. For beer-league softball players coming in after a long inning in the outfield. For a fisherwoman getting skunked and sunburned on the bay. And, from the view of the Leinie’s brass, for the large, mostly young market for non-beer beverages in beer-type bottles, like Mike’s Hard Lemonade. For all of these people, the light body and mild taste is not a problem but an asset, which means Leinie’s could have another hit on its hands.

2 mugs (out of four)